I REFUSE TO REMAIN SILENT
I'm a child sexual abused survivor. It was happened when I was almost 5 by a young adult male neighbor. I told what happened to my mom but she didn't believe it. It broke my heart and I promised I won't ever share same story to anyone anymore until it happened again for 3 years by my own grandma when I was 8 to 11. She did 'fingering' for almost every week. From there, I was never be the same... I kept those traumas for more than 30 years. Never realize that those traumas damaged almost all my life. I fell into many date rape for wrong thought that love came from sexual activities I could provide. I thought I could get my bias true love valuing & seeking by 'providing' sex while I 'carry' this trust issue as the most important symptom of my trauma. Some saddest things happened during I carrying “the ghost of traumas”, got divorced twice with harmful domestic violence experience at the second marriage also pushed me into more worse tragedies. I...